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12.11.2014

U R IS


United Russia, an Islamic State
Baby try and make some sense
Ought to love, shouldn't hate
But the fog, Jesus, is dense


So happy to announce you that today, 16 November, we had Twins (one book, to put it bluntly, was cut in half):


(There's really nothing to be happy about. The Finnish version of the play is horseshit -- I'm currently rewriting it in English, and as of today, 8 December 2014, it is going well. Thank you, dogs...)


  

Syyrian J ("The Jay of Syria") and Natiivi ("The Native").

Lue katkelma täältä ("read excerpt").

Osta kirjat täältä ja täältä ("buy the beauties in their astonishing entirety").

Jonkin aikaa toinen otuksista on luettavissa myös täällä ("briefly, the monster").


~

You want to read them in English, you'll have to pay Arttu Ahava enough to abandon his day job. And he's a LAWYER...

~

6.11.2014

Hag Blog: @AnnaKislichenko


This is a post assembled in a hurry, so please, bear with me. In fact, this is just an e-mail hastily rewritten. Still, the facts are there, and online you're able to find lengthy descriptions about every name you come across below... save for the Hag herself.

I hope and pray she became a household name as well soon.

[This post has been edited 10 April 2022. I tried to improve the writing, leaving the facts as they were.]

This is a story that does not exist. In Finland, at least it doesn't. This sad state of affairs (maybe it's cause for celebration and I'm a jerk and a fool, yet I seriously doubt it) tells way too much about the rock bottom our country has hit. Was it last year?

No. In 2014 we reached even greater depths.

Anyhow. In 2013, the Russian filmmaker Andrei Nekrasov lived with a member of the Finnish government. Heidi Hautala was the minister whose job it was, among other things, to supervise the companies where the State held shares. She got into trouble at work, and, in the end, was forced to resign.

In the middle of all this brouhaha surrounding a Finnish politician, a Russian blogger and some sort of an ombudswoman for children, Anna Kislichenko, published Hautala's home address on her blog.

Now why would she do that?

Everyone and their mother knows why. Nekrasov wrote an article about Alexander Litvinenko's dying days, and made a film about the Moscow apartment block explosions, which started the Second Chechen War and guaranteed Vladimir Putin his first term of presidency. The Kremlin does not want anyone to discuss these topics: especially the charge that the Russian secret police FSB blew up those buildings, not Chechens terrorists, as Putin claimed.

Ask Litvinenko's widow Marina how badly the Russian government wants to kill that conversation.

I know it's a standard operating procedure in Russia to publish every dissident's home address for each and every Nashi thug to see. The idea is that one of those geeks is crazy enough to pay the heretic a visit. Ask Anna Politkovskaya's son, or Boris Nemtsov's daughter about that.

Hautala just happened to live in Helsinki, Finland.

I contacted a couple of Finnish reporters on the matter. One of them was Heikki Aittokoski. He received a handsome reward for his courageous reporting last week. Heikki answered from Kabul and said that presently he could do nothing about the matter. He wasn't interested, I gathered. Neither was anyone else in the biggest - and to many, the only - newspaper in Finland, Helsingin Sanomat. Frustrated, I contacted the hag herself, Kislichenko. She wouldn't remove the address from her post, no matter what. When I threatened to contact Livejournal - the platform provider for her blog - so they could remove her hate post (trying to remind her that in the West, we still had these things called laws), she threatened to publish the address on ten new platforms, if that came to pass.

I tried that, too. Sadly, I should have been the target of her breach to be able to file a complaint. So the matter was forgotten, and the story dried up.

The most disgusting phenomenon, in the mixt of all this, is the indifference of the Finnish media towards the matter. You know, we pretend to be a Western country. But that is just a bedtime story.

Oh, I read from an openly pro-Putin site here that Kislichenko is involved in a "Mercy Project" with the Orthodox Church.

Damn, it sounds just about right.




PS. You can find the Hag Blog over here: http://annatubten.livejournal.com/

I thought a couple of years have passed since the mess, but the noise around Hautala started in March, I believe, and ended in October last year. Time surely flies when you're having fun with the pro-Putin scum.

I wrote to Mark Bennetts about the matter, and here is his answer:

Hello Matti,

Thanks for this. It's interesting, but i think a Finnish journalist would find it easier to work on it.

Best,
Marc

Yeah, in the best of all possible worlds that would be, like, their job.


Pro-Russians in Pohjois-Haaga




2.11.2014

Ua2


Rouva nappaa puheenvuoron.
“Teppo, voitko selittää? Sä esiinnyit somessa toisena, dosentti Bäckmanina. Se on identiteettivarkaus. Miksi ihmeessä?”
“Emmä tiedä”, Teppo tuhisee. “Tuntu hyvältä ajatukselta sillon. Sitä paitsi, se oli helvetin hauskaa hetken aikaa.”
“Dosentti on eri mieltä”, rouva sanoo.
“Ai?”
“Sen hauskuudesta”, selvennän. “Lievästi sanoen eri mieltä.”
“Ja te ootte jotain, mitä? Sen henkivartiokaartia?”
“Ulkoministeri on samaa mieltä dosentin kanssa”, rouva sanoo.
Teppo naurahtaa. Hänen ylimielinen asenteensa tekee paluuta ihmeen nopeasti.
“Unohda se”, rouva sanoo. “Unohda suhteiden vaarantaminen ulkovaltoihin. Unohda Bäckman. Me haluttais nyt tietää, mitä muuta sä oot puuhaillu?”
“Mä kirjotin sille.”
Rouva nyökkää. “Bäckmanille.”
“Se pyys avustuksia Donetskin kansantasavallan sotilaille, mitä taistelussa fasisteja vastaan tarvitaan: jotain vilttejä kai lähinnä. Ne viestii varmaan savumerkeillä. Joka tapauksessa, mä tarjouduin lähettämään niille muutaman espanjalaisen kurkun. Jos ei maistu, niitä voi aina käyttää autoerotiikkaan.”
En pysy perässä. “Auto?”
“Erotiikassa. Itsetyydytyksen apuna. Voivat tunkea ne perseeseensä.”
Rouvan naama pitää peruslukemat. “Mistä sait dosentin osoitteen?”
“Siinä avunpyynnössä SAFKAn sivuilla oli lomake jolla vastata, että miten voi auttaa. Bäckman muuten ei vastannut mun vastaukseen. Nynny. Tai ehkä niillä on kurkkuja yllin kyllin, kotitarpeiksi.”
Rouva tekee muistikirjaansa merkinnän. “Hyvä”, hän sanoo, “mutta ei riitä. Me tarvitaan jotain konkreettisempaa. Me tarvitaan tekoja.”
“Kertokaa vaan mihin”, Teppo sanoo, “ja mä autan ilomielin. Mutta sitä ennen: voisko nää käsiraudat ottaa pois? Mä lupaan olla kiltisti, ja muutenki. Mitä yks riisitautinen eläkeläinen mahtaa valtavaa vartioliikkeen miestä vastaan?”



Lue tarinan alku täältä.