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21.12.2014

Docile Dilettante Dashing Syria: Giveaways



Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Spiritual Hunt by Matti Paasio

The Spiritual Hunt

by Matti Paasio

Giveaway ends December 31, 2014.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter to win

I am very happy to announce that I've finally completed the script for my play on Syria, Rimbaud and Mapplethorpe (and Zarqawi). It is available here. Brits get it a bit cheaper, since I set the price and buy my copies there. But I've bought all of them, so there's none available, ha ha.






Those willing and crazy enough to read Finnish are able to enter a "competition" to "win" an earlier draft of the play BELOW.



Here's how The Hunt, or, The Torture Flight to Syria, begins:


PROLOGUE



Darkness. Voices of a demonstration, shouting. Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead…” This goes on, although single voices break out from the choir, declaring, There’s no military solution to,” War, not peace! I mean,” “Stop it,”  “The law! International law!” “Stop it,” “Stop yourself,” “What?” “I’ll show what. Asshole,” “Boys, boys!” Leviathan! Stop!” And finally, “Stop the war!

Someone lights a match. The flame goes out.

APOTHECARY & WESSON (in the dark): Bring out your dead, bring out your dead!

MAPPLETH (in the dark): Fuck it.

APOTHECARY & WESSON: Bring out your dead, bring out your head!

MAPPLETH:  Give me some instead.

APOTHECARY & WESSON: Bring out your dead, bring out your dead!

MAPPLETH: The stuff that dreams are made of—lead.

A match is lit. The flame goes out.

APOTHECARY & WESSON: Bring me your librium, and bring me a bed!

MAPPLETH: Maybe if we turn on the lights—?

APOTHECARY & WESSON: Surprise: You’re dead!

Lights on the actors, standing in a row. APOTHECARY and WESSON both have a black pillowcase over his/her head. Hands crossed behind one’s back. MAPPLETHORPE is standing between the two with a short candlestick in his hand.

MAPPLETH: I know what it looks like. Robert Mapplethorpe, the patron saint of the pervert, standing here with a candle in his hand. But I assure you, my intentions… my aims are entirely honorable.

Speaking over his shoulder.

Thanks, you can go now. I can manage. I’ll be good. Thank you, thank you. Thanks!

APOTHECARY grabs WESSON by the hand. They go.

I promise, I won’t stick it anywhere. Cross my heart. See? I’ll throw it away. All I wanted to do was to light a candle in the memory of our fallen heroes, to celebrate our all-too-brief Day of the Dead. But I won’t. I won’t. There it goes.

He puts the candle in his pocket.

Satisfied? As a member of the deviant international gay conspiracy, I’ve been denied any expression of solidarity. The rights to express any solidarity, I mean, mean… what do I mean? Can’t express it. Presidential decree.

One more thing. Could the janitor please close the doors? There’s a nasty kind of draft in here. Else we’ll catch our death. What you hear in here, whom you see in here, stays in here. Got it? Didn’t think so. I expect nothing less of you. Thank you.

Death is getting away!

Gets a grip on himself.

I’m Robert, and I’m an addict. Sex addict mostly, that’s what I died of, but also coke, speed, acid and other, what? Were to my liking, would be still, but today all corporeal indulgence is a strictly no no no for me. Dr Death has no sense of humor. He’s a terrible bore, a fanatic, as a matter of fact. Es un terrorista. Yet you can try. If you don’t tell, neither will I.

He lights a cigarette.

We have assembled here around this ancient and insane pastime to celebrate the genius of a certain French poet, and more than that, the ability of my former squeeze and dear friend, Mrs Wesson, to interpret that poet. The genius of... a real medium, Mrs Wesson is, that is. So, without a further delay: no more talking! Everyone knows I’m no public speaker; this time, however, out of respect for Mrs Wesson, I passed the MDA. Yeah, well, didn’t have much of a choice. Fanatics! Please welcome, straight out of Detroit, the fallen city, the pet laureate of punk, Mrs Chatty Wesson!

Now the man in my head tells me she’s not ready. Yet. Stall a while. Alright, let’s stall.

My roommate from Hell,  Doctor of Journalism Hunter S. Thompson, wrote a touching piece about jackrabbits. Anybody read it? Didn’t think so. Anyhow, the description fits us down there to a tee, and possibly, some of you in here as well. Thompson says about the jackrabbits that “most of them lead pretty dull lives; they are bored with their daily routines: eat, fuck, sleep, hop around a bush now & then…” In Hell, as I said, the physical stuff is strictly forbidden, so that leaves us, what? The bush, nothing else. Even if it were a burning one, the scene gets pretty old pretty goddamn fast.

And yet the jackrabbits of Thompson’s have one way to enrich their daily lives: a self-administered adrenalin rush. Thompson goes on to describe how a rabbit waits by the side of a desert road, in the dark, until a pair of headlights do appear. Still the rabbit waits. It waits and waits until the very last moment, the split second, as Thompson says, then dashes across the road right in front of the murderous wheels, avoiding, if it’s lucky, a brutal death only by a burnt hair. Holy lettuce, the rabbit thinks. That was close! And he loves his miserable jackrabbit life oh so dearly for the simple chance of losing it. A while… until the jackrabbit becomes bored again. And thus he is hooked, with no hope of recovery in sight.

Then again, who cares about recovery? And I quote, “Anything that gets the adrenalin moving like a 440 volt blast in a copper bathtub is good for the reflexes and keeps the veins free of cholesterol…” End quote, and debate.

Thompson tried to justify his disastrous wheeling and dealing with his deadlines when he produced that piece of poetry about the rabbits. What is my excuse?

I am trying to tell you what it’s like to work with a unique artist like Chatty Wesson on a hugely ambitious project of political performance. There, I said it. Might become a public speaker after all, one of these days. And my job in this project was to follow the news. I became a war junkie. As you can see, and… Whoa, here she comes! Excuse me, gotta go. Catch you later.

Quick Fix”—the album version of a song by Foetus.[1]



12.11.2014

U R IS


United Russia, an Islamic State
Baby try and make some sense
Ought to love, shouldn't hate
But the fog, Jesus, is dense


So happy to announce you that today, 16 November, we had Twins (one book, to put it bluntly, was cut in half):


(There's really nothing to be happy about. The Finnish version of the play is horseshit -- I'm currently rewriting it in English, and as of today, 8 December 2014, it is going well. Thank you, dogs...)


  

Syyrian J ("The Jay of Syria") and Natiivi ("The Native").

Lue katkelma täältä ("read excerpt").

Osta kirjat täältä ja täältä ("buy the beauties in their astonishing entirety").

Jonkin aikaa toinen otuksista on luettavissa myös täällä ("briefly, the monster").


~

You want to read them in English, you'll have to pay Arttu Ahava enough to abandon his day job. And he's a LAWYER...

~

6.11.2014

Hag Blog: @AnnaKislichenko


This is a post assembled in a hurry, so please, bear with me. In fact, this is just an e-mail hastily rewritten. Still, the facts are there, and online you're able to find lengthy descriptions about every name you come across below... save for the Hag herself.

I hope and pray she became a household name as well soon.

[This post has been edited 10 April 2022. I tried to improve the writing, leaving the facts as they were.]

This is a story that does not exist. In Finland, at least it doesn't. This sad state of affairs (maybe it's cause for celebration and I'm a jerk and a fool, yet I seriously doubt it) tells way too much about the rock bottom our country has hit. Was it last year?

No. In 2014 we reached even greater depths.

Anyhow. In 2013, the Russian filmmaker Andrei Nekrasov lived with a member of the Finnish government. Heidi Hautala was the minister whose job it was, among other things, to supervise the companies where the State held shares. She got into trouble at work, and, in the end, was forced to resign.

In the middle of all this brouhaha surrounding a Finnish politician, a Russian blogger and some sort of an ombudswoman for children, Anna Kislichenko, published Hautala's home address on her blog.

Now why would she do that?

Everyone and their mother knows why. Nekrasov wrote an article about Alexander Litvinenko's dying days, and made a film about the Moscow apartment block explosions, which started the Second Chechen War and guaranteed Vladimir Putin his first term of presidency. The Kremlin does not want anyone to discuss these topics: especially the charge that the Russian secret police FSB blew up those buildings, not Chechens terrorists, as Putin claimed.

Ask Litvinenko's widow Marina how badly the Russian government wants to kill that conversation.

I know it's a standard operating procedure in Russia to publish every dissident's home address for each and every Nashi thug to see. The idea is that one of those geeks is crazy enough to pay the heretic a visit. Ask Anna Politkovskaya's son, or Boris Nemtsov's daughter about that.

Hautala just happened to live in Helsinki, Finland.

I contacted a couple of Finnish reporters on the matter. One of them was Heikki Aittokoski. He received a handsome reward for his courageous reporting last week. Heikki answered from Kabul and said that presently he could do nothing about the matter. He wasn't interested, I gathered. Neither was anyone else in the biggest - and to many, the only - newspaper in Finland, Helsingin Sanomat. Frustrated, I contacted the hag herself, Kislichenko. She wouldn't remove the address from her post, no matter what. When I threatened to contact Livejournal - the platform provider for her blog - so they could remove her hate post (trying to remind her that in the West, we still had these things called laws), she threatened to publish the address on ten new platforms, if that came to pass.

I tried that, too. Sadly, I should have been the target of her breach to be able to file a complaint. So the matter was forgotten, and the story dried up.

The most disgusting phenomenon, in the mixt of all this, is the indifference of the Finnish media towards the matter. You know, we pretend to be a Western country. But that is just a bedtime story.

Oh, I read from an openly pro-Putin site here that Kislichenko is involved in a "Mercy Project" with the Orthodox Church.

Damn, it sounds just about right.




PS. You can find the Hag Blog over here: http://annatubten.livejournal.com/

I thought a couple of years have passed since the mess, but the noise around Hautala started in March, I believe, and ended in October last year. Time surely flies when you're having fun with the pro-Putin scum.

I wrote to Mark Bennetts about the matter, and here is his answer:

Hello Matti,

Thanks for this. It's interesting, but i think a Finnish journalist would find it easier to work on it.

Best,
Marc

Yeah, in the best of all possible worlds that would be, like, their job.


Pro-Russians in Pohjois-Haaga




2.11.2014

Ua2


Rouva nappaa puheenvuoron.
“Teppo, voitko selittää? Sä esiinnyit somessa toisena, dosentti Bäckmanina. Se on identiteettivarkaus. Miksi ihmeessä?”
“Emmä tiedä”, Teppo tuhisee. “Tuntu hyvältä ajatukselta sillon. Sitä paitsi, se oli helvetin hauskaa hetken aikaa.”
“Dosentti on eri mieltä”, rouva sanoo.
“Ai?”
“Sen hauskuudesta”, selvennän. “Lievästi sanoen eri mieltä.”
“Ja te ootte jotain, mitä? Sen henkivartiokaartia?”
“Ulkoministeri on samaa mieltä dosentin kanssa”, rouva sanoo.
Teppo naurahtaa. Hänen ylimielinen asenteensa tekee paluuta ihmeen nopeasti.
“Unohda se”, rouva sanoo. “Unohda suhteiden vaarantaminen ulkovaltoihin. Unohda Bäckman. Me haluttais nyt tietää, mitä muuta sä oot puuhaillu?”
“Mä kirjotin sille.”
Rouva nyökkää. “Bäckmanille.”
“Se pyys avustuksia Donetskin kansantasavallan sotilaille, mitä taistelussa fasisteja vastaan tarvitaan: jotain vilttejä kai lähinnä. Ne viestii varmaan savumerkeillä. Joka tapauksessa, mä tarjouduin lähettämään niille muutaman espanjalaisen kurkun. Jos ei maistu, niitä voi aina käyttää autoerotiikkaan.”
En pysy perässä. “Auto?”
“Erotiikassa. Itsetyydytyksen apuna. Voivat tunkea ne perseeseensä.”
Rouvan naama pitää peruslukemat. “Mistä sait dosentin osoitteen?”
“Siinä avunpyynnössä SAFKAn sivuilla oli lomake jolla vastata, että miten voi auttaa. Bäckman muuten ei vastannut mun vastaukseen. Nynny. Tai ehkä niillä on kurkkuja yllin kyllin, kotitarpeiksi.”
Rouva tekee muistikirjaansa merkinnän. “Hyvä”, hän sanoo, “mutta ei riitä. Me tarvitaan jotain konkreettisempaa. Me tarvitaan tekoja.”
“Kertokaa vaan mihin”, Teppo sanoo, “ja mä autan ilomielin. Mutta sitä ennen: voisko nää käsiraudat ottaa pois? Mä lupaan olla kiltisti, ja muutenki. Mitä yks riisitautinen eläkeläinen mahtaa valtavaa vartioliikkeen miestä vastaan?”



Lue tarinan alku täältä.



29.10.2014

Uusi alku


Lokakirja [päivämäärä].
Kaveri puristi luomensa yhteen.
Kumarruin lähemmäs.
“Sä et nuku”, sanoin. “Oikeesti, sä vaan esität. Riippumatta siitä, mitä rouva tutkija sanoo, ihan riippumatta sun 'oikeuksista', tosta täytyy seurata jotain. Se on silkkaa fysiikkaa, voima ja vastavoima.”
Löin kahden käden rystyn. Kaverin pää retkahti sinne, mistä oli tullut. Kaula seurasi perässä. Samaan aikaan lähempänä kotia: luettelon kansi irtosi kuin giljotiinissa. Pahvi jäi käteeni, kun loput keltaisista sivuista pudota mätkähtivät lattiaan kaverin oikealle puolelle. Katsoin pahvia kädessäni, koko asetelmaa. Jännää, miten luonnonlait löivät yhä uudestaan ihmisen ällikällä.
“Schweinsteiger! Tiedät sä kuin vaikee nykyään on löytää kunnon luetteloa?”
“Anna olla”, rouva sanoi. “Mä sanoin jo, että riittää.”
“Kuten herra haluaa. Mutta sano mun sanoneen: monta kertaa ei voi enää käyttää hienostunutta ranskalaista. Se on alettava ottaa imperiumista mallia, täytyy käyttää kiinalaista. Zero Dark Thirty: kyllä laulu lurahtaa.”
“Tietävätpä, mitä vastaan ovat”, rouva hymähti. “Vaikka tähän tapaukseen se ei taida sopia.”
“Miksei?”
“Tämä tapaus on… monimutkainen.”
Kaveri aukoi silmiään.
“... vittuu te haluutte.”
Poimin puhelinluettelon raadon lattialta.
“Ei”, rouva sanoo.
“Ei sitä”, selitän.
“Teppo Tanner”, rouva sanoo.
“Kavereiden kesken vain TT.”
“Terroristi”, rouva sanoo.
“Ehä”, kaveri nyyhkii.
“Eikö teillä koulussa ollu ammatinvalinnanohjausta”, rouva ihmettelee. “Vai lintsasit sä ne tunnit?”
“Mihin hän tähtää, että…”
“Ei mikään hääppöinen uravalinta.”
“No ei.”
Kaveri yrittää puhua, ulos tulee sihinää.
“Kerro vaan”, kannustan.
“Mä en o mikään”, hän huohottaa.
“Siinä sä oot harvinaisen oikeessa.”
“Mutta susta voi vielä”, rouva sanoo, “tulla joku. Vielä ei ole myöhäistä. Ja sitä päämäärää kohden me kaikki täällä pyritään.”
Peitän kaverin silmät. Annan käteni valua alas, kunnes se pysähtyy kaverin suun kohdalle.
“Herää jo”, sanon, “Teppo hyvä. Olet ystävien seurassa.”


Tarina jatkuu täällä.





25.10.2014

Joukkueen vaihto? Aprillia!


Terve, mussukat!

Haluan täten ilmoittaa, että katkelma ("Rauhan trippi") upouudesta teoksestani Natiivi on luettavissa täältä. Napsautat vain (klik) kohtaa (ehkä klik klik), jossa lukee "read excerpt".


Helppoa, eikö?


Aivan eri sävellajissa kulkeva otos on luettavissa hyvin varustetuissa kirjastoissa, Kulttuurivihkojen numerosta 2/2014. Sen nimi on "Geneve 22 eli taistelu Syyriasta". (Olisin voinut vaikka vannoa, että luku oli 44. Mutta se on Tom Hardyn ja Gary Oldmanin syytä ja kokonaan toinen tarina.) 


Haluan kiittää uskollista lukijakuntaani, joka globaalin kapitalismin ynnä idän hirmuvallan asettamista esteistä piittaamatta, vaivojaan säästämättä aina löytää tiensä vajavaisten teosteni äärelle.


Kiitos Teille. Tiedätte, keitä olette.






19.10.2014

Alkuasukkaat ovat levottomia (taas)


Nyt tiedän, miksi Christoper Marlowe vakoili harhaoppisia hallituksen piikkiin.

Itse toimin vastenhoitajana, ja se on käytännössä sama asia.

Kirjoittaminen ei ole vaivan arvoista - suomeksi sanottuna ei kannata.

Marlowen näytelmiä esitettiin teatterissa Elisabetin ajan Englannissa ja ne olivat tietääkseni hyvin suosittuja. Hän tasoitti tietä Shakespearelle, oman aikansa Spielbergille, jonka suhde jumalankieltäjään on täsmälleen sama kuin Raymond Chandlerin Dashiell Hammettiin. Parivaljakon toinen osapuoli on tarpeeton, sillä aikaisemmin aloittanut teki jo kaiken, paremmin. Shakespeare ja Chandler jatkoivat väkevää myrkkyä vedellä ja tarjoilivat sen kansalle, eikä tämä siitä hyvästä ikinä unohda heitä.

Tämän purkauksen piti olla mainoslause uudelle teokselleni Natiivi, jolla ei ole muuta tekemistä yllä mainittujen suuruuksien kanssa kuin se, että «Kit» kummittelee tämänkin tekeleen kulisseissa.

Tätä kirjaa et saa lainastosta, Akateemisesta, et mistään. Joku hullu voi tilata sen Amazonin verkkokaupasta – sieltäkin vain sen tähden, että haluan viimeiseen asti tukea yrityksen kauaskantoista projektia, jonka päämääränä on lakkauttaa kirjailijoiden kirottu ammattikunta. Suuri osa kirjailijoista on silmänkääntäjiä: heidän tuotteensa ei ole kirjallisuutta, vaan esittää sitä.

Jos joku sattumoisin avaa Natiivin, hänet saattaa vallata äkillinen tuntemus, että kirjahan on jo kertaalleen luetty.

En voi kyllin korostaa, että kokemus on väärä. Kukaan ei ole lukenut Natiivia. Teos on joka päivä uusi, sinä sen kun vanhenet.



http://www.amazon.com/Natiivi-Finnish-Edition-Matti-Paasio/dp/1502881403/


10.10.2014

Iguala and Ilovaisk


Came across another story of senseless brutality. This time, it did not bear the signature of ISIS. No video footage available of it either, I'm afraid.

The incident in question is quite characteristic of a certain group who could easily discard the al-Baghdadi bunch as a ragtag of freaks, losers and copycats. These guys were decapitating and skinning people, gouging the victims' eyes out, et cetera, way back when it was Saddam Hussein who had the monopoly of the trade in Iraq.

I'm not talking about the Chechens (yet), but the mighty drug cartels of Mexico.



Before I had finished reading the article, I jotted in my notebook, "Tlatelolco replaced by Iguala."


And lo and behold! When I reached the end of the story, I found out that the students who got butchered by the cartels and the police in Iguala were on their way to a memorial protest of the 1968 Tlatelolco Massacre in Mexico City.


My head started spinning...


I was hanging by my feet from a trapeze, Roberto Bolaño from another, and he was swinging toward me, yelling, "Don't be a pussy! Just let go!"




"Madness, as we both know, is like gravity..."

From down below, the bellows of the ringmaster, Slavoj Žižek, confirmed my worst fears -- this was nothing but global capitalism for beginners, and he was going to flunk us for sure, unless we realized this instant that the only road of liberation was via a spaceship, on board of which we could climb in one precise manner: by having a drink of Kool-Aid seasoned with 
chloral hydrate and cyanide.

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.


Please.


Those who do not remember the past...


ENOUGH!


Thank Jesus for the safety net, and Pacman for bringing my mind back to the fact that it existed.


The cheap thrills I took from reading the story, written by Ioan Grillo (whose meticulous book El Narco: The Bloody Rise of Mexican Drug Cartels I own, but am afraid will never finish; I'll be stuck on page 214 forever), were the easy comparisons to be made between the brutal regime of "the narcos" and that of Vladimir Putin.


The text describes the city of Iguala, but applies easily to an entire country sharing a very long border with what I still consider my homeland.


Russia, like Iguala, is "controlled by gangsters responding to public disorder with mass murder."

For the following, no guidance is required:

Being ruled by corrupt and self-interested politicians can be bad. But imagine being ruled by sociopathic gangsters. They respond to rowdy students in the only way they understand: with extreme violence designed to cause terror.

As a postscript and a key, here's what I wrote on Nadya Tolokonnikova's Facebook page last night or this morning, 11 October, 2014:
Just finished your book. You were brilliant! Sadly, the same can't be said about Žižek.... His stuff was very educating, in a sence... 

The babblings of Žižek's reminds one of a suicide cult called Heavens Gate. Which is what this song is all about:



Meanwhile, in a parallel universe...