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25.8.2012

Just a Taste





"U.S. military action in Afghanistan 
which resulted in a
decline in the availability of heroin
is cited as one reason
for its lack of popularity."




MOSCOW – A rare display of loyalty and passion by a politician took place here on Sunday, 20th November 2011.

As the Prime Minister of Russia Vladimir Putin entered the ring at a martial arts event to introduce a local athlete – a real hero, a Russian hero, he kept saying, waiting for the word to become flesh – and was cut short by a storm of fierce and highly unexpected booing, Paavo Arhinmäki, 34, from Finland, stood up.

Then a Presidential candidate of the Left Alliance, nowadays just the party's leader and poster boy, Arhinmäki raised his head high above the hoodlums and addressed the mob. Just like Mayakovsky in his prime, I thought, and so did many others. Before he shot himself. Not Arhinmäki; Chossud… Mayak... that guy.

“When talking about the Taliban,” Arhinmäki thundered, “cutting people’s heads off, we should look into the crimes of Bernie Madoff…”

He gave his audience a serious look. Yes, I mean it. I’m not forced to do this in any way.

“With an AK-47, shirtless and shooting…”

He held a pause, swallowed saliva, then shrieked,

“Everyone against us and our lord Putin!”

Arhinmäki fell silent, the audience fell to their seats, ashamed and defeated, afraid of another gas attack, perhaps, and then everybody watched some kung fu. Everyone was young again. Everyone was happy. And the happiest of all, thousands of miles away, were the Taliban.

They had refined their heroin so it could be injected as words, and Paavo Arhinmäki was the head pusher of the new product in Auresia.






Starring
Arhinmäki, Minister of Futsal;
Putin, President of Pride.

Introducing
Chossudovsky, Village Idiot.

In Memory of
Mayakovsky, Suicide. 





Buy NOW -- Put money in the pockets of da Taliban






A Day in Wife

 

[M-kylä, now defunct Southern Province]


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